When we enter marriage, we take our future in our hands. Whether we end up happy and fulfilled or miserable and disillusioned, depends on how we regard our partner.

When we embark upon marriage, we are taking our future in our hands. Whether we end up happy and fulfilled, or miserable and disillusioned, depends on how we regard our partner.

If we believe that everything is Divinely ordained, and that we have discovered the one whom G-d has predestined for us, then “He who has found (a spouse) has found good.” We will know we have made the right choice and will not be plagued by doubts. We will adapt to whatever the relationship brings us and will respect our spouse.*

Of course, we should weigh our decision intelligently before making it, but once made, we must recognize that G-d’s hand was directing it.

Conversely, if we assume that it was our own talent, intelligence, wealth, lineage, and/or comely appearance that won us our soul mate, our sages warn that we will end up saying “I find (my spouse) more bitter than death.”

The minute there arises a challenge to our domestic bliss, we will start to wonder whether we could not have done better. When we have trouble achieving compatibility, we’ll question whether we haven’t made a mistake. Rather than being content with the spouse we have already found, we will always be looking around to discover someone new and better.

With faith in Divine providence, we can be confident that we have found the partner Heaven destined for us. This is the key to a happy and successful marriage.