Marriage allows us to realize our loftiest aspirations. The highest of these is the freedom to grow together in the right direction.

In Hebrew, the enduring bond between husband and wife is called “nisu’in,” marriage, which means literally, “raising up.” A marriage is enacted through “kiddushin,” betrothal, a word signifying sanctification and dedication. 

Marriage allows us to realize our loftiest aspirations. The highest of these is freedom. The Torah concept of freedom does not imply license to do whatever one wants. Rather, freedom in marriage is the opportunity - as well as the obligation and privilege - to grow together in the right direction, just as a tree, lacking any restraints, is free to grow upwards.

Marriage is therefore the noblest step we can take, for it challenges us to develop ourselves in all aspects of human relations. Understanding, patience, intelligence, wisdom, consideration, courtesy, and restraint are all important factors which contribute to marital happiness.

The most important transformation that occurs in marriage is that two separate identities join to create one unit. From two “I”s, there emerges a single “we”, which the couple must continually strengthen.          

Marriage, then, is a supreme test for both husband and wife. Intimacy and interdependence require a willingness to adapt to one another, a task requiring all our intellectual and emotional strength. This means that, while often putting ourselves aside for the sake of oneness, we must each nevertheless remain unique, for either spouse’s loss of self will diminish the creative energy of the couple as unit. Each partner in a marriage must develop his or her personal attributes and virtues in order to be able to contribute his or her part to the whole.