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A deep, strong, positive bond with father and mother will result in respectful love.

Spending time with our children is the latest principle psychologists have analyzed in recent years. The number of families are declining and the curve continues to slump from year to year. A constant refrain of "I have no time," reverberates in children's ears. Fathers are hard-pressed at the office and bring the tension home with them at the end of a busy day. Mothers are also short of time. Over the weekends, parents are chronically exhausted, although their schedule tends to be full.

A child whose parents do not provide adequate emotional support so significant for the child's development, will feel rejected and unworthy of their love and understanding. He assumes that he has not lived up to their standards; he has let them down, by not meeting their expectations. Slowly he loses the natural respect that every child has toward his parents, unless it is inhibited by negative influences.

If the situation is not corrected, a second stage follows: The child seeks a substitute, someone who will serve as a role model for him, and who will provide the warmth and support he failed to receive from home. He pictures himself praised and rewarded because he has molded his behavior to that of his new role model. This new bond fills the void left by the lack of a warm, strong bond with his parents.

The new role model that determines the child's values and ambitions for the future may be someone who can help to raise the child to a better future. In most cases, sad to say, such children are drawn to negative characters, with devastating results for the child's development and future happiness.

This is why it is so crucial for parents to devote time to their children. A deep, strong, positive bond with the child will result in respectful love. Such a child will be determined to make his parents' values his own; thus he is well on the way to a healthy, happy future as a mature adult.


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