When two people share an experience which is new to them both, the event brings them together and strengthens the bond between them. The main power of physical intimacy between husband and wife derives from the emotions that existed between them beforehand. The more unique those feelings are, the more unique and significant will be the intimacy between them.

Whenever a woman has had physical contact with someone else beforehand, her sensitivity is dulled. As a result, when she does marry, her bond with her husband will not be so special and unique. We might ask, if this is so, why should any woman choose to lesson the quality of her future marriage by agreeing to a temporary experience which she knows may not be lasting? Rationally, it does not make sense, but we find that this is by and large the reality of today's society. The vast majority of modern society does not censure premarital relationships, despite the fact that those involved are harming themselves in two ways. Firstly, there is little chance that this relationship will be permanent, and secondly, this experience will certainly lessen the quality of their marriage when they do eventually wed.

There are several aspects to the explanation of this phenomenon. First of all, an incredibly large percentage of Mankind do not stop to think, until their last day on earth, what they hope to achieve in the span of years allotted to them. They fail to ask themselves how they can achieve the highest level of contentment and happiness in this world.

Even for those who do take life seriously enough to ask themselves these essential questions, presents another stumbling block. There is tremendous social pressure to conform to whatever form of conduct is considered “normal” at the moment lone wolves are looked upon with askance. In addition, even those who are independent in their thoughts and opinions, do not always have the strength of character to swim against the current. This is true even when the relatively minor rewards of going along with the crowd are weighed against what one stands to gain if by holding to one's principles. 

To succeed in life, one needs more than an independent opinion. Of course, it is essential to know what one wishes to achieve, just as the traveler needs to know where he is headed before he purchases his ticket. However, this alone is not enough. One must have a strategy for getting there, a plan of action and a clearly marked route along which to proceed to one's chosen destination. No less essential is the strength of character to complete the journey, just as one needs the funds to purchase his ticket. One must be convinced that this is the right path to follow, and have the self-discipline not to let himself be led astray by distractions along the way. 

An individual who is thus equipped is armed with determination to gain the maximum of pleasure, contentment, and happiness which life has to offer him, will not be prepared to compromise. You will not hear him say to himself, “I'll give in and sacrifice a part of my goal for the sake of a moment's enjoyment here and now. It's enough for me to achieve only 70% of what marriage has to offer when I settle down for the rest of my life.”

The Torah has no room for the hypocrisy of lip service to its principles coupled with submission to the current dictates of society, whatever they be any given moment, if these contradict the values of Judaism. The Torah does not allow the Jew to compromise on his self-fulfillment and the achievement of his true potential. Instead, it encourages us to compromise on temporary pleasures, or to forgo them altogether. In this way, we stand a far better chance achieving our long-term goals. One of these goals should be a satisfying, enriching marriage which will be a source of deep pleasure for a lifetime.

To sum up, the Torah shows us how to obtain the richest rewards that life has to offer.