Almost without exception, the way we relate to our environment and the people within it is a function of external appearances. We see an object along the roadside and know that it is a tree because it has a trunk and branches. Likewise, we recognize a wall by its outward appearance, its placement, its form, and the stones of which it is built. 

If we look into matters more deeply, we discover that there is much more to things than meets the eye at first glance. An old, weathered tree has a long history. One spring after another, perhaps for many decades, it has added new growth to its roots, its trunk, and its branches. An old tree has a dramatic tale of survival to relate. 

A hard-working salesman may discover after years at the same company that his extreme devotion to his job has produced painful gaps in his personal life. A young woman blessed with a beautiful face and a winning smile weighs her prolonged experience in search of a husband. She reaches the conclusion that no young man has ever related to the depth of her personality rather than to her outward comeliness. The various suitors with whom she has contended with over the years were not attracted by her inner being, her true self, and what she had made of herself. They were drawn by her outward appearance, and nothing more. n further reflection, she comes to realize that neither did she respect herself for what she was inside her. Society taught her to focus on her appearance rather than her character traits, and she formed a self-image accordingly.  

You, too, can conjure up a self-image based either on your external appearance or on your inner character. Which do you prefer?

To one degree or another, all of us have times when we allow outward appearances to take the reins and to distract us from deeper, personalized, deeper pleasures. If we are not prepared to make do with superficiality, but strive to uncover our inner being and uniqueness, things will look very different. 

Quite possibly, the greatest obstacle that stands between a woman and the discovery of her inner being is her body. One of the purposes of the woman's body is to serve as a means of fostering the bond between her husband and herself. Nonetheless, it can also become a mask which conceals her inner personality.

No one would appreciate being classified as a “walking piece of flesh.” The human body is indeed endowed with great beauty, but if we focus solely on external appearances, we come up against a major problem. Our bodies obscure the soul within us. The outer “peel” becomes the main object of our focus. Consequently, by default, we toss the inner flesh of the fruit onto a garbage heap to slowly rot and decompose, so that it loses its significance and usefulness altogether.

One way that Man reins in the impression which the body makes on those around him is by clothing himself. Our garments reflect our activities. Beachwear is minimal and designed not to restrict our movements. In more formal settings, we dress quite differently. A Nobel Prize awardee is required to wear a tuxedo when presented with his medal. Even if allowed to do so, he would not consider appearing for the occasion in a bathing suit.

Clothing our bodies is one way we make a statement to those around us: “There is more to me than just my body.” The more extensively we veil the physical aspect of our being by donning garments, the less likely we are to be perceived as purely physical beings. On the whole, women are less aware than men of the extent to which the perception of a person's body is an obstacle to being viewed as a composite of body and soul, rather than a purely physical creature. 

The converse is also true; the more we emphasize our bodies, the more likely others are to identify our physical entity as the real “Me” of our personality. It appears that all we have to say about ourselves is that we have two arms, two legs, a torso, and so on. If this is what is important to a person, the rest of his make-up becomes only incidental and insignificant.

Society has trained us to expose our body and to take pride in it. When we conceal our physical presence rather than emphasizing it, we are making a statement: “There is far more to me than what is visible to the eye. If someone wants to know who I really am, he must look further within, to the real me.” 

Even before our garments make their silent but potent statement about our identity to the public, they define us to ourselves in our own eyes. The minute a person steps outside the front door of his home, those who meet him react to the figure he or she presents to them. We instinctively absorb their reactions. Sociologists term this process "symbolic interaction." The way a woman dresses, the manner in which others react to her and the image she has of herself, all have a mutual influence on each other. Our self image is not purely the product of our own personal thoughts. When we adopt a specific mode of dress over an extended period of time, whether months or years, we gradually become the person we appear to be. Each day, our self image, one way or another, in response to the reactions our appearance evokes in others. 

We know instinctively that in order to appear attractive to the opposite sex, we must be pleasing not only in our conduct, but also in our appearance. However, our dress should complement our personality, not serve as a substitute for it. If we stop for a moment and ask ourselves just what it is we hope to achieve in any given relationship, the chances are that we would present ourselves quite differently. We are not sure just what it is that makes us worthy of the admiration and the affection of others. Our need for attention is at its height when we are in our teens. At this stage of life, we lack self-confidence. The teen constantly grapples with the question: “Who am I? What am I?” He looks for externals to help define his identity. 

Many adults remain in this teenage phase and continue to search for their identity for many long years after their twentieth birthday. For lack of anything better, they attempt to define themselves and attract attention through faddish, sometimes bizarre clothing and loud music. 

Those who must rely on the approval of others in order to endorse themselves are very unfortunate. They must wait patiently over long intervals until they finally merit a casual word of praise. Despite their desperate need for approval, they fail to realize that the element they are lacking is to be found deep within themselves. Unfortunately, those who live as though “all the world's a stage” rarely stop to consider the inner workings of their heart and soul, and to ask themselves: “Who am I?”

Today's society encourages us to step forward and “prove ourselves” in any one of hundreds of arenas, whether the realm of politics, the arts, business careers, sport, academics, or globe-trotting adventurism. However, these fields of endeavor share one common denominator: The wreaths of honor they bestow on the brows of those who manage to climb the ladder of success – usually while treading on those who fell by the wayside – are external rewards alone. They do not help the individual to plumb the depths of his heart and become acquainted with his own soul.

The true answer for which the soul longs is to be found not in the realm of business, politics, science, or the like. We can find the answer to the eternal question: “Who am I?” only when we search within the depths of our own hearts.