The Bible describes many episodes from the lives of our forefathers. Our Sages teach us that one reason the Bible goes into such detail is because the deeds of our Forefathers serve as signposts to show us the path we should follow. Let us glance at the first of our nation's founding fathers as he and his wife anticipate the birth of their first child.

We read in Genesis 20:1: And Abraham journeyed from there to the land of the south and he settled between Kadeish and Shur and he lived in Gerar.

Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch comments: It was the forthcoming birth of their son that prompted Abraham and Sarah to move to another area altogether. They felt the need to educate their son in a locale where he would not be exposed to detrimental influences. It is a mistake to seek out absolute isolation from life that shelters the child from all contact with philosophies and attitudes which differ from those he absorbs in his own home.

A child who never experiences the contrast between his parents' world outlook and that of those around him will lack an appreciation of what his parents have taught him. One must experience something of the darkness before one can fully appreciate the light. It is good for the child to meet up with and observe the lifestyle of others whose aspirations in life differ with those of his parents. In this way, the child learns to distinguish between the two, and to appreciate the path in life which his fathers and forefathers have blazed for him. A child who has never had the opportunity to observe other lifestyles and compare them with his own, is likely to fall victim to the first contradictory life pattern which confronts him as a young adult.

We might compare such a child to one who was raised in a totally sterile environment until the age of twenty, and then suddenly sent out to the midst of a teeming city. Never having had the opportunity to building up his body's resistance to cold germs, he is certain to come down with a cough or a runny nose when first exposed to a normal urban environment.

The son of Abraham, destined to carry on the tradition of his father, needed a setting in which he might from time to time come into contact with cultures which were alien to the beliefs of his saintly father, even antagonistic toward them. In this way he would learn how to protect himself and to re-enforce his stance against the cultures which opposed his own.

Our forefather Abraham was the first educator who gave thought to creating the best educational environment in which to raise his children. A master pedagogue, he set before his son a series of carefully graded challenges which would call upon him to stand up for his principles in circumstances which slowly increased in their difficulty. Again and again, Isaac was called upon to defend his principles, to adhere to the values instilled in him by Abraham. Each test was carefully geared to be neither so difficult as to invite defeat, nor so easy that it would not serve to develop Isaac's spiritual "muscles" one step further. At the same time, Abraham contrived to avoid exposing his son to experiences among his opponents which might be harmful to his moral progress and development. A delicate balance had to be struck between two extremes so as to achieve the desired results without running the risk of harm.

In modern times, we need not look far in order to discover parents who decide to raise their children with a minimum of limitations and restrictions. They hope that this will help their children to grow up and mature into truly responsible, independent adults.

One cannot imagine a sports trainer asking a novice to lift the same heavy weights as a well-trained athlete can raise on high. If a child is left to grapple with such a challenge, he will either face a discouraging defeat, or over-strain himself to the point of damaging his body. Just as a competent sports trainer exercises careful judgment as to the demands he places on the trainee's body, for fear of causing harm rather than developing better muscles and skills, so, too, must the parent exercise great caution and invest much thought in deciding how much to slacken his control so as to achieve the best results without risk of harm.

The Sages provide a graphic parallel to the overly liberal parent. They liken such a father to one gives his son a fine, new suit of clothing, sends him off to bathe and perfume himself, has a fashionable hairdresser do his hair, and then parks him in front of a house of ill repute with a stern warning: "Now, don't do anything wrong!" Perhaps the father's intentions are for the good; his goal is to develop his son's will power and character. Whether or not that is the case, at best, the father is being negligent in raising his son, and the results will be disastrously far from what the parent hoped to achieve. Although the parent may protest that he was only doing what he thought best for his child, the fact of the matter remains that he carefully paved the path to sin rather than to virtue.

Neither extreme is effective in education. Limiting the child to the point that he remains dependent on his parents will obviously not prepare him for a healthy, productive life in which he fulfills his potential as an adult. On the other hand, letting a child run wild to his heart's content, and giving him full freedom, beyond what is suitable for his age and development, is also a grave error. As in so many other areas of life, the correct path is the middle way, and the most likely to produce the results we desire.

The renowned ethicist, Rabbi Israel Salanter, was wont to compare the child to a bird held in the parent's hand. If one grasps it too tightly, the poor creature will find it hard to breathe, and its health will suffer. On the other hand, if, for a split second, one relaxes his grasp to far, the captive bird will joyfully flap its wings and disappear before one realizes what has happened. Therefore, hold on to your precious "gosling" with delicate firmness, he advised. Independence? Yes, to a certain degree, but not at any price. Each parent must define the limitations for each of his children, with supervision to just the right extent. Constant diligence is required to ensure that the child will be exposed to negative influences.

The topic is vast, and each case, and each child, must be dealt with on its own merits. It is beyond the scope of this essay to provide comprehensive guidelines for each and every situation the parent will meet with over the years. There are many tactics and methods on which the parent may draw to meet the challenge before him. We will attempt here to give a brief, very basic insight into the matter by drawing on one of the weekly readings from the Torah, in the Book of Genesis.

Abraham was commanded by G-d to leave his country and his birthplace and to journey to an unknown destination which would be revealed to him. He took leave of the home in which he was raised; he left his birthplace, and his country. In short, he cut himself off from his past. After living only a short while in the Land of Canaan, a famine compelled Abraham to go down to Egypt. There he came upon a morally degenerate society in which he had to defend himself against the likelihood that he would be murdered so that others might take his wife Sarah from him. Is this good citizenship? Is this how one should treat a visitor to his land, a refugee of a famine?

After returning to Canaan, some time later, Abraham proposed to his nephew, Lot, that the two separate and settle in different locations. Again, he found it necessary to isolate himself from evil. And so it went. When Abraham arrived in Gerar, he declared, "For there is no fear of G-d in this place, and they will murder me."

Later, he sent Hagar away with her son Ishmael, lest the older boy have a negative influence on Isaac. Neither did Abraham consider the local maidens as prospects for a suitable match for Isaac. Neither were the cities of Sodom and Gemorrah up to Abraham's moral standards. There followed further conflicts with neighbors whose ethics were far below those of Abraham and his family.

With the command to "Go forth from your country, your homeland, and the house of your father…" G-d was showing Abraham a pattern of behavior after which to mold his life and that of his family after him. "Go forth to yourself, to fulfilling the potential of the sublime values that lie within your heart! This is even more important than not separating from the community."

We, too, can apply the lessons of this way of life which has been passed down by the descendants of Abraham, from generation to generation. As Rabbi Hirsch writes: "This spirit strikes a blow in the face of the religion of the masses which places its faith solely in the opinion of the majority. In the final estimation, every value held sacred by the majority is also admired and sanctified by the individual. Theoretically, society should choose noble values; consequently, Judaism attaches importance to society and forbids one to isolate himself from his community.

"Nonetheless, the history of the Jewish People begins with the commandment: 'Go forth from your country, your homeland, and your father's house! Isolate yourself! This is a more sublime value than that of not separating oneself from the community.'

A person may not say, 'According to the standards of the society I live in, I am upright and honest.' "Each person is responsible for himself. If you find yourself in a community which falls short in its ethics, whose majority is not faithful to the Truth, heed them not, and act according to the truth that lies within your own heart.

"This is the acknowledgment of the truth which was required of Abraham as the starting point of his journey to his own destiny and that of the nation which he founded. True, a person has deep ties with his country, with his homeland, and with his father's household; however, the commitment to fulfill his own moral potential must be even stronger and more profound. How could the Jewish people have come into being, and how could we have survived to this day, had we not inherited from our Father Abraham the courage to act on our principles, even if we remain a minority of one, as Abraham himself did when G-d commanded him: 'Go forth!'"

If we are successful in passing this fundamental principle on to our children and grandchildren, implanting it firmly in their hearts, our nation will not be drawn after every speck of dust that glitters or shines. Rather, the Truth will dwell in their hearts. Everything deserves its rightful place, including a shiny speck of dust, but the basis and foundation must be "Go forth!" We must educate ourselves to decency, honestly, and uprightness, refined character traits, and values. This is the basic foundation of Jewish education, in our days no less than in days of yore.

The structure of the child's personality depends on whether his parents have succeeded in freeing him from a dependency on the opinions of the masses. Does the majority decide what he wears, who are his friends, for whom he votes, and, above all, what are the values that mold his life? Or is he guided by an inner set of values rooted deep in his heart, planted there and patiently nurtured by his family and teachers?

Only a person who is equipped with this inner “compass” to guide him can be truly free and independent; only he is capable of acting according to his principles and values, even in the face of his own fancies, impulses and desires of the moment.

For example, let us take the commandment not to take revenge. Someone shamed me before a large group of friends and associates. What could be more natural than to take revenge against the person who put me to shame in public? If I do not answer back on the spot, and with the same type of barbs and insults that were cast at me, people will take it as an admission that my adversary's words were true. Nonetheless, since I have a well-established principle not to take revenge, ingrained over years of education to Jewish values, I will refrain from avenging the wrong done to me in any way which is not in consonance with Jewish law. This is true independence!

The parent must establish mechanisms in the child's personality that will keep him independent of social pressures, by establishing a solid, firmly based set of values for the child, so that these – and not impulse – will guide the child in his actions and reactions throughout his life. In this way, he will not become emotionally dependent on the compliments and approbation of others; rather, he will have the strength of character to do what his heart knows is right, regardless of the consequences in terms of social acceptance.

Abraham our forefather was known as Abraham, the Ivri (the Hebrew), because the entire world was against him. He was, as it were, on one river bank (eiver hanahar), and the rest of the world, on the other. This is the peak of independence: an individual whose moral decisions are not affected by any external influence. Such a person is prepared to lead, and to provide all mankind with a personal example of highest ethical conduct, despite all that is happening around him.