Any couple starting out their new life together must realize that without knowing the reason for marriage, there is no hope for a successful marriage. If they have decided to wed in order to fill their own needs and desires, they are already on their way to failure.
Our world was originally created with a comprehensive underlying unity and harmony. The sin of Adam brought about several basic changes in the essence of the Creation. The unity of the universe was disrupted. Each individual facet of the creation was henceforth assigned a specific task uniquely its own. The adaption to this change found expression with the introduction of the phenomenon of mortality and Death, which were hitherto unknown in the universe. In addition, Man acquired an Evil Inclination, in addition to his original Good Inclination. The pain of childbearing and the stress of raising one's offspring were also introduced into the human experience as a result of Adam's transgression. All these areas demand that we give of ourselves, whether the sweat of our brow or the tears of our heart, in order to bring the world back to the higher level at which it functioned before Adam disobeyed G-d's command.
The Torah of Israel is unique in that it furnishes detailed instructions as to how we can elevate the universe and bring it back to the its former level of functioning, as when first created. By bringing peace and harmony into the world, we are serving the Creator and helping to fulfill His plan for the universe.
Man and woman are one of several pairs of opposites which must come together harmoniously in order to effect the rectification of the world. The Creator brings them together so that they may establish a new, harmonious family unit, a miniature universe. If each spouse is marrying only to satisfy his/her personal needs and desires, it will be aggravating to find oneself sharing living quarters with someone else. If there is no deeper factor to form a bond between them, they will remain two separate individuals who share the same address for the duration of their marriage, rather than uniting as one family unit, bound together by bonds of love.
Even if the young couple are not aware that Heaven puts man in this world for a definite purpose, and even if they do not know for what purpose they are here on earth, they will agree that there is an inner drive in every human being to form a bond with others. People feel a need to be loved. Were this impulse not implanted in man, it is not likely that he would agree to undertake the responsibilities and burdens of marrying and establishing a family. The Creator fashioned man with this instinct so that he would indeed marry, bond with his wife and children in a warm, family unit, and thus bring the world that much closer to its perfection as a unified, harmonious whole. One of man's deepest needs is his desire to feel that he belongs to a group. Man is not a loner; he longs for a link with others with whom he shares a common denominator. This is why a baby is calmed when his mother holds him close; it is then that he feels wanted and beloved.
Nonetheless, the Torah does not view the bond between husband and wife individuals only as a means, but as an end goal as well. The family unit affords man innumerable opportunities to achieve this end. A successful family flourishes on partnership, mutual assistance, consideration for others, and shouldering tasks together. All these experiences help a person improve his character and personality traits by repeatedly giving to others and training himself to be sensitive to the needs of others. In this manner he becomes a partner with the Creator by bringing more unity into the world. This is the ultimate purpose for which the world was created, namely, so that all mankind should unite in acknowledging the Creator's sovereignty and serving him in unity.
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