Building a healthy family is a major undertaking. It requires endless effort to meet the needs of one's spouse and one's children. No less a requirement is a burning desire to understand others, so as to better meet their intellectual, emotional, and physical needs. In short: Give to others! Give, give, and again give!” It is this spirit of mutual giving, and finding pleasure in the act of giving, which, even in times of stress, unites the couple, and later, the entire family of parents and their offspring. It is this atmosphere of pleasure in giving to others, whether they deserve it or not, which empowers the family and unites it.
The person who trains his children to devote their lives to dealing kindly with others will never lack in this world. Each time he gives to another, he will gain twofold. His heart will swell with joy, and his mind will be at peace. What is more, he will feel pride in what he is doing, and experience deep satisfaction in his deeds. Others will respect him and admire his accomplishments. As King Solomon teaches us: A person's giving will widen [the path] for him; it will lead him before the great. (Proverbs 18:16).
When one gives to another, he builds a bridge with his fellow man, and extends his own being to include something of his benefactor's soul, for he has given his fellow man a bit of himself. This is how a person builds an emotional bond to another human being, a bond we call “love.” Loving another is a basic ingredient of life, which blossoms when a person views the person he loves as an integral part of his own world.
In Hebrew, each letter of the alphabet has a distinct numerical value. The letters of the words for “one” and for “love”, namely “ahavah” and “echad”, both come to a total of 13. This is love which is complete, firm and dependable, of which it is written: “Many waters will not be able to extinguish the love, and rivers will not wash it away” (Song of Songs 8:7).
The word “extinguish” is used here most appropriately, as the Zohar refers to love as “the fire of love.” This is a form of love which is entirely giving. It is created from giving, and it is nourished by continued giving, which makes it grow and grow.
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